Most of us probably think of a zombie apocalypse as a pretty bleak time, but that doesn't have to be the case. As ZOMBIELAND proved in 2009, fighting through hordes of zombies while looking for a place to settle doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom. In fact, it can be pretty fun.
The film took us on an adventure alongside Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), Wichita (Emma Stone) and the Twinkie-loving Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) as they made their way to a supposedly zombie-free paradise. Now, after ten years of making a life for themselves in an apocalyptic America, the quartet is coming back for ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP.
Some of ZOMBIELAND's relatively sunny outlook comes from characters who are better prepared than most to survive. There's no guaranteed way to ensure you'll get through this sort of scenario alive, but Columbus proved that some basic rules can stack the odds in your favor. With ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP opening on October 18, let’s go over the five most important zombie-surviving rules taught by the original movie.
Zombies may not be the brightest horror creatures, but that doesn't mean they aren't deadly. Don’t be fooled by their rotting bodies and fragile limbs. These creatures will catch you if you’re not quick enough to escape their desperate clutches. What’s the solution? Endurance.
We’re not saying you have to be an Olympic-level athlete to stay alive, but you are going to have to work hard on your cardio if you want to stand a chance against fast-moving, flesh-eating zombies. As ZOMBIELAND showed, being quick on your feet is good, but being able to maintain speed is even better.
This should go without saying, but being in an apocalyptic scenario doesn’t exclude anyone from needing proper physical preparation before fighting for their life. Stretching prior to any type of exercise is pivotal for healthy joints and, ultimately, avoiding a nasty case of mad person disease.
Furthermore, stretching not only keeps your joints loose, it allows you to be flexible enough to outrun even the fastest zombies. Keep this in mind and there won’t be many (if any) pulled hamstrings on your journey to surviving a zombie infestation.
This might go against the very essence of what makes a zombie-killing protagonist, but you've got to stay alive before becoming someone’s real-life superhero. It’s nice to know you helped save someone’s life, and, sure, your apocalyptic partners want to know they can count on you when things get rough.
Having said that, you need to keep a cool head and analyze whether a situation truly merits self-sacrifice. It’s a zombie apocalypse, after all, so unless you’re fighting to get the cure for the virus or rescuing a pristine bag of Twinkies, you’re probably better off keeping yourself alive.
Ok. You’ve outrun zombies, and you’ve made peace with leaving other people behind to fight another day. But here’s the sad part: that’s not enough. If you truly wish to thrive amidst a crowd of the undead, you've always got to be alert — especially while getting into a car.
ZOMBIELAND has many useful survival tips, but undoubtedly one of the most important ones is to check your back seat. Zombies may not seem smart, but maybe they have more strategic brains than you'd think, at least when it comes to hiding in cars. If you check every car before getting in, you might avoid becoming a flesh-eater's next meal.
Let's say everything else failed. What’s the next step? Shoot it. Woody Harrelson's character, Tallahassee, seems vicious, but his reliance on violence might be justified by the threat of roving ghouls. Sometimes running won't work, and a fist fight isn’t the best option. Here’s the thing, though: It’s not enough to shoot them once.
These creatures will almost always get back up from the first shot. A second shot — the double-tap — is not only ideal, but essential. Admittedly, it was this trigger-happy mentality that led to (spoiler!) the untimely death of Bill Murray in the first film. However, it also saved our intrepid survivors more than once.
Given the title of the new movie, the double-tap lesson might be more important than ever. (Or it could just be a good sequel pun.) And breaking at least one of the rules above was ultimately the real key to survival in the first movie. Columbus will dish out more lessons in ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP, and we'll see which ones he has to break to keep his loved ones safe.
All images courtesy of Sony Pictures.